some random thoughts

ok first of all SOPHIE QUIT LAUGHING!!  so i went to see the police man in G this am, don't worry-nothing's wrong, and was quite pleased when he told me that i speak faster than i used to.  that's always nice to hear!and if i might brag for just a bit i will add that i didn't have my dictionary OR nargis, counterpart and translater, with me and got along fine.  yest was my groups 5 month mark in Bulgaria.  today, this is going to  random so either put up with it or close the blog, my B. teacher told me she was going to give me 3 books in B. to read, and retell back to her, before my stint in G is over.  pretty heavy stuff but i told her to "bring it on" and when i said that everyone that was in the "teacher's lounge" looked at me like "what in the heck is she saying?"  of course i may get one page read a day...if even that!   i told her i was going to give her 3 english books to read but i don't quite think that would be fair since i have had 5 months of B and she doesn't know english very well, but she continues to surprise me.  tomorrow a rep from the yd program will come to G and check on how i'm doing (which means to clean my apt! it's not bad at all mom!).  i've also been put in charge, american person for an american holiday, of planning something for halloween.  i've got some great plans!  now they just have to work which may be the problem!  now, to be even more random, i got a letter from my aunt and thought i'd address some of her questions.  i'm doing well although right now my foot hurts and i'm thinking the 15k i was going to do with another volunteer next oct isn't going to happen.  more than you wanted to know i realize.  i'm still at the english school 2 days a week and helping with an english class for 5-7 yr. olds at the kindergarten 2 days a week.  the adult english class i'm going to have hasn't started yet b/c i can't find a place to have it and, as of the information  i got this morning-no one knows, is on hold for awhile.  this is all the better for me b/c i can plan lessons and be more prepared!   i have to say the only time i have physically spent with other volunteers is for the mandatory meetings the corps has.  weekends would be my chance to travel but weekends are my chance to catch up on the next week as well as do necessary things around my apartment.  and i have to say i really don't feel the need to leave, i like it here!  as far as integration goes, i feel pretty integrated.  i say hi, in either B or Turkish-if an older person, to everyone on the streets and they always answer.  of course integration has more to do with being visable but i have to say i think i've done a pretty good job of this so far.   the people i workwith are all ages but the english school is from 8th-12th grade.  alcohol???  it's a problem but it's also a way of life.  for instance, there are drunk guys every night in the center, which is close to my apartment.  i know they're drunk, or at least i assume and i don't think i'm wrong but i could be, because i can hear the smashing of the beer bottles.  over here that's kinda what people do.  you go to a kafe with friends and drink and smoke.  so when i'm asked if it's a problem of course i think it's a problem because i don't drink to excess but it's tolerated.  in the states we have a big problem with drinking a driving.  over here few have cars and if they do don't drive more than a mile, if that, after they've had a drink.  in G you're not stopped by the police for drunk driving.  if there's violence that occurs when someone is drunk i haven't heard about it.  it's just different.  compared to the states with the violence, theft, and other things that are associated with alcohol i would have to say it's not a problem.  however.......like i said before, it's just different.  Love to all!

being gratefuli

today is all about being grateful for what i(we) have.  i haven't been the best at that here recently.  now mind you i haven't been the worst and most people would think nothing of it but since i'm who i am i think i need to stop and think about all the things i HAVE.  i have my belief in God and that's all i need i believe.  i am grateful for the opportunity to travel to another country, not on my dime i might add, and experience another way of life, help others (which is what i love to do), all while traveling different places in the world!  that's pretty lucky if you ask me!  i have a wonderful family who sends me things and friends who back me up in this venture.  included in with the family are the children in my family who are decorating my wall so i have pretty pictures to look at, and also to remind me to be a kid too!  i havea place to live over here and am surrounded with very nice people who look out for me, help me in any way they can(include give me food), and teach me about Bulgaria, including the language!  i have a job for which i am grateful.  now granted it's not a job per say in the fact that there is no paycheck but i'm taken care of.  this totally sounds cheesy and if i could think of another way to say it i would but i get paid with other things.  i was in the kindergarten today and we were working with forming the letters on the floor.  the kids would lay down and i would move their bodies to the shape of a letter.  when the kids chuckled, i had to make sound effects you know while moving them, or the fact that THEY noticed i left my notebook behind in their class and gave it to the teacher to give to me, or when they all raise their hands to help me and wanted to make the letters,THAT'S my payment.  yes it's corny and cheesy but that's what i do.  i am grateful for a netbook with skype so i can talk and see my family every weekend and keep in touch with emails.  i don't have to worry about from where my next meal is coming like some people here.  i am grateful to be given the chance to represent My Country to people around the world.  i am grateful to all of you who want to learn about different lifestyles and give me the opportunity to share my knowledge of B.  there are tons more things i could type but i think probably most of all, after God, i am humbled and very grateful to all of you who pray for me daily, send loving thoughts my way, and support what i'm doing.  i've said it before and i'll say it again.  if every one of you weren't behind me and supportive of my decision to move to B for 2.5 yrs it would be so much harder for me to be here!!  the moral of the blog is count your many blessings and be grateful for what you have!  you never know when you could be like the person i saw eating from a dumpster this morning!  love to all!

a "weighty" issue

ok sophie!  this one's for you!  i asked for more information about why everyone is so eager to weigh themselves and put other people on their scales.  everyone having a bathroom scale in their house is relatively new and still there are people who don't have one.  a while ago in bigger cities people would sit in the middle of the street with a scale and charge a small amt of money if you wanted to use the scale.   so, when people come across a scale no matter where it is, as long as it's free they'll use it.  that's it and nothing more.  i have one b/c with the way everyone feeds me over here i can't imagine i won't gain weight and feel like i need to have some control over that.  it's really the same with age.  people over here ask ow old a person is and they don't think twice.  in the states it's considered rude to ask someone their age.  i should clarify that.  it's considered rude to ask women, especially older women, how old they are.  i don't mind giving out my age b/c i figure i've earned every single one of these grey hairs on this 39 yr old head and quite frankly have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!  now i don't need all my friends and family to comment back and remind me of the little "mistakes" i've made along the way; i'm quite aware!  anyway i do have to say i was taken aback a little when i first got asked that question over here; i'm really not used to being asked how old i am.  now that that's taken care of i can tell you all about the wonderful"gypsy" summer we're having right now!!  the only thing i could think of after school was going for a run which is kinda odd b/c i really don't run.  but i'm trying to however!  if i'm going to make 15k i better start.  L if you're reading this you're incrediably strong and have so many loved ones with you on this!  you're in my thoughts and prayers!  love to all!

hands

i found out last night that the right hand is considered rude.  i took dinner from the stol over to nargis' house.  i asked her where her other ring was that she used to wear and she told me she wears the one she had on more as a wedding ring.  then i noticed it was on her right hand.  now i've never been married but i know married women in the states wear their wedding ring on their left hand.  this kinda confused me so i started asking more questions.  there is an engagement ring too but it goes on your left hand not with your wedding ring like we do in the states.  she told me to hold out my hands and she told me "see.  your left hand is smoother  then the right" b/c we do all our work with our right hand.  (sorry lefties we were talking about the right hand; not trying to shut you out)  then she told me the right hand is considered rude but the right hand is also the stronger and more flexible of the 2.   now if you happen 2 be a leftie like my mom i'm not so sure if this is still true.  i'll get more info about this.   she was watching the turkish program she likes and right then it was about a woman who was going to get married but was walking alone one night and came upon some men.  these men were not very nice and b/c of that the man she was going to marry didn't want to get married anymore b/c, well i think you know where i'm going with this.  in the Muslim, and generally speaking here-not ALL Muslims, society every man must marry a lady who has not been with another man.   i think on some level i knew this but never heard it to be true, at least not a Muslim woman.  this is something that's different  from the states too. i 'll just leave it at that and if anyone wants  me to ellaborate i will.  i think we skipped fall and jumped right to winter b/c it's cold outside but nothing i haven't experienced before!  however i hear we're in for a "gypsy" summer next week which means a slight warm-up.  have a great weekend and i'll catch you all next week!  love to all!

nonsense words

you can't believe how hard it is to talk w/o all those little nonsense words we always use!  now that i think about it they are more like self talk than nonsense.  (those of you who know me know i do a lot of self talk!  sometimes i even answer myself.  sophie, i hear you laughing) they do serve a purpose amazingly.  they're kinda like a bridge btwn thoughts.  it's like they enable us to continue thinking while taking a break.  i'm talking about the "man i had it" or "where is it!" when looking for something or "i know i know that."  things like that.  the other day during my tutoring lesson when i got frustrated at myself it was b/c i don't think in B.  when my tutor said i needed to start trying to think in B i tried...and do you know i couldn't finish a thought w/o uttering some of those phrases!  when i was in maybe 7th gr my stepdad was helping em practice a speech or something along those lines.  my choice nonsense word then was "well."  ron challenged me to say 1 sentence w/o saying that and do you know it was almost impossible?  i couldn't do it! it's kinda like a crutch when you think about it.  all those little "oh man"'s or "where is it...i can't find it"  are like little crutches that we depend on and we don't even realize it!  now of course i realize it b/c it has been brought to my attention.  so i've started replacing oh man” with “o boshe” and i think “a me” is kinda like “well, let me see.”  it’s harder than one might think, getting rid of those little crutches!  when i’m looking for something and can’t find it i try and remember to say “kude (where)” instead of the actual “where is it”  it’s kind of an interesting relavation when you figure it out.  so i challenge each one of you to become more aware of the words you use.  try and make it through a day, an hour, a sentence without using meaningless words.   and L. (D too) my thoughts and prayers are with you!!