"back in the US(S)A(R)"

So here I am sitting at my parents home in the USA.  I have been stateside for all of 5 days and am getting ready to travel to Seattle to see my sister's family next week for about 6 weeks.   I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do about my blog; if I'll keep posting or not.  I went to my old workplace Friday night and surprised all my friends there and that was very nice!  I even had an Atlanta Dream (WNBA) player come up to where I was (after my friends made a commotion upon seeing me) and shake my hand while thanking me for my service.  That was pretty neat.  Then on Sunday I went to church and surprised everyone there.  It's so nice to see everyone's reactions when they realize it's me!  It feels different being back here.  For one thing I'm between houses which is one of the reasons I feel like I'm in limbo.  I feel kinda like I'm floating; not really doing anything.  I can't help but think how different things are now from only a month ago and how quickly I'm going back to the "old" routine of just doing because that's how it's done here and how much it seems like I just take things for granted just because.   I don't mean to but when things are done a certin way that's how they are done.  This probably makes no sense.  Anyway, I'm trying to get everything pretty much squared away before next Tuesday.  The driving came back no problem but of course that was just an errand close to home; we'll see when I have to go on the highway or even downtown!  For now love and hugs from me!

life after

I'll go more in depth later.  We are in Istanbul now and I can't believe how big it is!  Taxi's everywhere!  Coming from a small town in B  withou a taxi...that's different  for me!  Sunday morning was hard since I was leaving the life and people I had known for 2 years!!  I want to leave to see my family in the states but I don't want to leave all my neighbors and friends in B. behind.  I'm trying to use some Turkish here and recognize some words.  We decided to stay in the room today and not take a tour to save mom's hips and relax befoer the craziness begins!  We walked around a little and went to some little shops and got stuff for lunch.  There are so many thoughts running through my head now and my thoughts go back to my B home and how everything I'm doing now my community where I lived wouldn't be doing.  More later!  Love and hugs from mom and I!

"leaving on a jet plane"

So I'm thinking this might be the last blog in B.  Of course that could change.  My mom is coming on Friday (can't wait) and we are traveling for a couple of weeks in the Greek Islands, Istanbul, and Greece itself I think.  I will try and blog during our travels but just not sure how that will go; I may be using facebook more.  I'm trying to plan gosti's while mom is here and looking forward to showing her around what has been my home (and always will be in spirit) and introducing her to the people who have taken care of, fed, loved, supported me, and so much more over the past 2 years!!  As of right now her bed is a mess (one of them anyway) with stuff to go in luggage.  It hasn't hit me yet that I'm leaving and won't be back for what I'm thinking will be quite a while; a ticket over here is expensive!  I'm not sure when it will hit me, but women and used to crying for no reason and at the drop of a hat.  All the other times I thought I would cry when saying goodbye and such I got tears in my eyes but that's pretty much where they stayed.  I'm thinking when we actually leave, are standing at the bus stop with people from my Glodzhevo waiting to get on the bus, I will cry saying goodbye to them.  But who knows!  It's sad and, yes, there are other ways to show saddness.  Maybe like I said before it hasn't really hit me yet; I've left and come back many times in these 2 years.  Well we'll see!!  Love and hugs from me!!

the people "behind the scenes"

  Tomorrow I leave for Kubrat to get on a bus at 3 am on Thursday to go to Sofia for the last time!  WOW!  I just heard what I wrote.  I had always known that this will be the final time in S; what I didn't think about was that part of this last trip to Sofia (not my favorite place lets be honest-it's a big city and I like small/smaller places) is the last time I will see all the staff who have been with me for 27 months.  Some have left already but most are still there.  Now that I think about it that makes me sad.   I thought about the volunteer friends I will be saying goodbye (for awhile at least) to but I never thought about saying goodbye to the staff.  While I'm on the subject let me just say a big thank you to our staff, both B and A.  Every volunteer has a different story and experience but I have to say the staff here is top notch!!  From the (relatively new) Country Director, who came at our midservice conference, to the drivers who know the way to each one of the volunteers' sites (at one time there has probably been pretty darn near 200 here) AND how to navigate B'ian traffic-no small task!  To a person our staff isn't just "staff."  If something happens and I need to talk I know I can call ANY ONE OF THEM, not just program staff if it's related to youth development or the SSC if it's an issue of security.  I have never been afraid.  Of course that's partly because I'm in a small town but it also has to do with how informed Dilyana keeps us on issues of security, safety issues that affect us/me.  We are able to do our "jobs" because they do theirs so well, spored men (in my opinion).   So (I just decided I'm going to make this a seperate blog for the staff) to all my friends at the Peace Corps office (there are so many and I can't name them all) but from the bottom of my heart-THANK YOU!!  I would write that in B'ian too but my sheet of the B'ian keyboard is packed somewhere and I'm too lazy to do the google keyboard thing!  YOU helped make my experience a great one!   I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world in your future endeavors!  Ha zjev i strav!  Vsi4ko hubavo i 4esta be6e moq!  Life and health!  All the best and the honor was mine!  Love and hugs from me!

homeward bound!

Way back in May 2010 when I was getting ready to come to B the Peace Corps allowed us 2 checked bags weighing a total of 100 pounds, a carryon and a personal item, like most flights.  My sister and her husband are members of a camping/outdoorsy store and got me a 33 liter backpack that was my carryon and I used a beach bag stuffed with odds and ends for my 27 months as my personal item.  Needless to say I've accumulated much more over the 27 months; some I can give away (like some clothes) and some I plan on keeping (like the birthday gifts I got from the teachers at the English school and others).  Getting it all home will be a chore and I know I will have to pay a baggage fee; that's just going to be a fact and I'm ok with that.  However I have been sending some stuff home (hense the homeward bound) little by little to (hopefully) lighten my load a little.  The post office here will ship a 2 kg. package for me.  I know what you're thinking, "2 kg!  You can hardly fit anything in a 2 kg package!"  You are right, but it's cheaper and much more convient!   So I've been using my scale to very carefully get to the 2 kg. limit before I go to the post office.  This morning I had a package all ready to go and it even was a tad under 2 kg. so I headed to the post office ONLY for their scale (the one that matters) to tell me it was over the limit!  Today is the day to pay electricity and that is done at the post office, so while the ladies were busy with taking money, I tried to repack my already carefully packed package.  With what I had in the package there was no way it was going to be 2 kg. so I ended up sending a 1.65 kg package.   Did I think of other things I could put in to make up the difference?  SURE DID, but they were in my apartment and I wanted to be done with that.  So far I've sent 3 packages home with a total of most of my gifts for family and that I have been given, a blanket that I bought here that served as excellent wrapping material, and some clothes that serve a dual purpose; clothes and wrapping material.  I think that's probably all I'll send but I'll have to wait and see.  Now I'm just hoping the Bulgarian and English words for "fragile" mean something to whoever handles my packages!  Every time I send something I have flashes of that computer/new tv/whatever that was being dropped over a fence when being delivered.  I know thev're just things but those "things" mean more to me than losing my bags!  Loe and hugs from me!

giving time!

Today it was my turn to send a package!!  I'm trying to condense everything I have and the stuff I have accumulated over the past 27 months and it's not all going to fit so I will be shipping some home.  Today I used the one of the boxes my mom sent with a Bible verse on it; I didn't know way back when how important all the boxes people have sent me would be!  I remember this package because it said "God is love" on the side of it and when I went to open it in the post office the lady asked me what it meant.  After I explained she asked "is that "good?"  I used the side of the box to write the word "good" under the word "God" so she could see how similar the 2 words are.  When I went in this morning she was telling the other lady "she had so many packages at Christmas!"  I may have to send some more, I'll just have to wait and see. Last summer I made some rainsticks with some of my students for a legacy project by the B26s with toilet paper rolls, nails, duct tape, and beans or watermelon seeds or popcorn seeds, or rice; small stuff like that.  I was down talking one night to my neighbors and told them what I was doing and Ivan gave me maybe about a foot long hollow cylinder and said "here, try using this!"  Well I had the PC in my head then and, remembering sustainability and "...teach a man to fish..." that has been drilled into our brains (and rightly so) made a mental note to save that project and do it WITH Ivan.  Flash forward to yesterday at about 11am.  I came back from taking some stuff to the Kindergarten with Neriman and her sister and saw Maria and Ivan sitting at their little table they have outside of their apartment building and thought "aha!"   I asked them if they were going to be there for awhile and when they said yes headed to my apartment for the nails, beans, the cylinder he had given me last summer, and a hammer (with toilet paper rolls I can push the nails in but the cylinder was a tad harder!).  I walked up to the table and started unloading my stuff and said "remember this from last summer?  We're going to make a rainstick!"  I had started another one in my apartment and just not finished so took that one down to work on as well.  After we were done I gave them all the nails I had purchased (you have to have different sizes so they sound different) and the beans we didn't use along with an exacto knife that has come in handy the past 2 years that is not coming to the states with me.  Yesterday Neriman and I gave the pre-school room in the Kindergarten the 3 puzzles that mom (I think) sent me, the BINGO game (complete with 16+ laminated boards) I made to use in the pre-school room (that they didn't get exactly but hey, English letters are English letters!), a set of 100 English laminated (I so loved that thing!) flashcards that the English students made complete with both the British and American English words and a pictures of an item, the Tiger mask and tail mom and Ron brought me 2 Octobers ago for Halloween (it had a bowtie but it got lost somewhere), and some colored cardstock/construction paper I didn't end up using.  The flashcards were something and I so hope they get used; the students had so much fun making them!  We ended up making 5.  2 sets of 100 (give or take) of the same laminated cards with both the American and British English words on one side and a picture of the item on the other went to the library here, 2 sets went to the 2 schools here, and the other went to the Kindrgarten.  Then, because the students had so much fun cuting out pictures and showing off their English knowledge, there were 2 random sets with about different 80 words (each set give or take)with both the picture and British/American English words that also went to the library here.  I also intend to take some of the books you sent me to the library.  now I just have to make an announcement saying that they are there!!  that's for today or next week!  other than that i'm stuffing things in plastic bags and in general de-cluttering my apartment!!  Love and hugs from me!!

now I've done everything!

Sorry about yesterday!  I went to Ruse to get some stuff taken care of and when I got back just forgot.  But now I can tell you that now I can leave Bulgaria!  I've accomplished nearly everything I set out to do and yesterday just put the icing on the cake!   I (almost) missed my bus.  I overslept a little that morning and because of that didn't have time for breakfast.  As some of you know if I travel a long way on an empty stomach (or don't take motion sickness medicine) I get sick.  The ride to Ruse is a little over an hour with a rest stop 10 minutes into the trip in a near city Vetovo.  I thought "I'll grab something in Vetovo and eat it on the bus; I can handle a 10-15 minute ride with no food."  Wouldn't you know that when we got to Vetovo and I ran off the bus to grab something (it's a 10 minute stop)  to eat the lady ordering in front of me had multiple orders.  I could see the bus through the window and JUST AS SHE HANDED ME MY SANDWICH I saw the bus pulling away!  I told myself that the buses don't move very fast and if I run, maybe I can catch up with it!  Turns out that there's an advantage to being an American (or probably any other nationality) in Bulgaria; people remember you!   As soon as the bus pulled away someone realized I wasn't on it and the bus pulled over.  I of course thanked the driver and the lady who takes the money a couple of different times.  Now I can add "almost missing the bus" to my list of accomplishments in Bulgaria!!  Well, the B26 group of 87 originally is down to 40.  My preparations for leaving were rudely interruped a couple days ago by a rash.  Turns out that when I thought to myself "what's the chance that this laundry soap will have the EXACT THING that I'm allergic to?" (ironically I found out I was allergic about a month before coming here)"  Turns out the chance is 100%!   So I had to rewash lots of clothes and have lots of mind over matter and tell myself "if you start itching you'll never stop so it's best not to start!"  People probably think I've developed this horrible skin desease!  It's been extremely hot and I just read where the whole of B declared a code orange because of the heat.  I don't quite think it's been as hot here as it has been there though; we sure could use the cool-down you are having in the states!  Love and hugs from me!

final party recap

I realized that I have not told you all how the final party went!  My bad!  We had a wonderful time and the only students who weren't there were the students who were absent from school.  The presentation that I put together (I did the easy part-choosing the pictures and songs!  the actual "putting together" was done by Ibrahim...and it didn't help things any that in the midst of all his hard work we lost power and lost a lot of his work) took it's time opening but once it did everyone enjoyed it!  I picked out about 200 pictures of my 27 months, where I have been, things I have done, and people sho have been with me from start to finish.  Then I picked out 5 songs (We are Family, I'm Still Standing, Wonderful World, You Rise Me Up, and My Country, My Bulgaria in that order) and Ibrahim made a power point presentaton out of them.  It really turned out very nice if I do say so myself!!  2 of the students then read a nice speech they had written to me that was very nice.  Then we danced like always.  A nice time was had all around!  One of the Ruse teachers even stayed with me so she could come!  That was nice!  The next day was the final day of school and my last day with half of the students (the ones not from Glodzhevo) and then today was my last day with some of the teachers.  When my mom comes we're planning on seeing my language tutor and Nargis but other than that, today was pretty much it.  Sad times.  As I was standing next to the minivan waiting for them to leave and saying my final " I wish you happiness..."'s they said "invite us to the wedding (no there is nothing I'm not telling you-no weddings for this lady on the horizon)!  It was kinda sad walking around the school where I spent so much time these last 2 years!  Az 6te bi lipsvam MNOGO!  Posjalavam mnogo yspeh, zdravi, lubov, i 6tastie!!  Be6e mnogo mi priqtno da posnavam i rabotq i sjivee s vas!  ot moqto curtze i S MNOGO obi4:  4ao zasiga.  obi4 i pregrudki ot men!  

thank goodness for mom!

So the English School totally surprised me today and this time I teared up quite a bit.  I say that because last week for graduation/the last day of school I gave a little speech.  I had prepared Veleava ahead of time, language tutor and awesome friend and person, that she might have to take over for me because I would be crying and not able to finish and since she was the person I practiced with I figured she would be a good person to take over for me.  All the students were there and well as the teachers and others affiliated with the school.  Knowing that last Friday would be the last time I saw half of the students before I leave (I'll leave it at that) I had plenty of tissues ready.  NOT A TEAR DURING MY SPEECH!  And from me no less, the woman who cries at the drop of a hat (maybe not the drop of a hat but I'm a crier)!  Of course AFTER the speech when thinking about leaving my awesome counterpart and my language tutor-THEN I got teary eyed.  So now I'm  in the midst of giving things away, wrapping up loose ends, giving little gifts, and generally preparing to move in...I don't even want to say it...after mom comes when Nargis calls me and says that I need to go to school.  I was planning on it anyway and told her I was on my way.  After I had been there maybe 20 minutes (?) the director came in, shook my hand, handed me a beautiful inscribed Amazing Bulgaria book and a tapastry, and started saying nice things about me.  Then it was my turn (Valeava said I did a good job with my B'ian and that I haven't forgotten; yea for me).  Then I got all choked up!!  All I can say is thank goodness mom will be here to help me (even if she says she'll be no help and crying along with me!) get on the bus when it comes time to go!  Goodbyes are seldom easy and this will be no exception!  Love and hugs from me.  I really going to try to keep blogging from here on out but depending on how hectic things become they may or may not happen!  OH!  I almost forgot!  Happy 4th!!

our final party

I'm sorry I didn't get around to blogging yesterday and I'll apologize ahead of time about not blogging tomorrow too!  We are in the middle of getting ready for a combination 4th of July/end of the school year/farewell party/celebration for me tomorrow night and things got crazy all of a sudden!  Yesterday I asked a student to help me with a power point presentation (I've never done one- I know you all are SHOCKED!) and in the middle of uploading my pictures to the presentation we lost power and lost everything we had done.  I should say everything HE had done, which was about 1/4 of what needed to be done and the easy part turns out which was good.  Same thing happened today but he saved more frequently so not a big loss.  Nargis and I also took a bunch of my stuff to the Jimea yesterday so it could be given to whoever needs it.  In the middle of planning (starting to really) this gathering tomorrow night I heard a rumor that only some of the students could come...and I got mad!  "This is my last party with the students and, darn it, I want everyone there!" was what I  was thinking.   Turns out I got all “in a tizzy” (that’s for you mom) for no reason and the mood that I caused myself to be in only set me back; hurt me!  That’s what I get for listening to rumors!  Nargis wants me to say something about the 4th tomorrow night and I think this time I’m going to IN BULGARIAN!  I figure if the students see me fumbling all over my words and making mistakes they might get more of the idea that mistakes aren’t bad, actually necessary and good most of the time!   I just thought about something!  I’m not even going to read over it more than once; I’ll just have to tell the teachrs to let me read and NOT to help me!  So that is tomorrow night and then Friday is the last day of school and my last day with the hostel students:(  Getting to major kleenex time here (lots of crying)!  Love and hugs!

(going) back home again!

Today's blog is for all my volunteer friends who are leaving today or tomorrow.  If we're done with our work and all squared away with Peace Corps stuff we can leave (with permission of course) up to a month early, which is today.  I know that 3 out of 4 of the volunteers still in B that were with me in Varshets left/are leaving today or tomorrow.  Our pst in Varshets was hard and the 6 of us (one went home already) survived!  I made some friends that I will have for life and even have a potential illustrator for my children's books (if that goes anywhere.  That's also something I have to look into when I get back to the States!)  Our ages (in May 2010)  ranged from 24 (or 23?) year old Sean from California to 68 year old Naomi from Texas.  Naomi was quite the inspiration.  Not sure why but she lived in the house farthest away (by quite a bit) from the training center where we studied (our home base) in Varshets.   She enjoyed telling us stories of her being part of crews on sailing ships.  I remember her telling us that during pst (Varshets) she and her family spoke in Italian a lot because they both knew Italian and B wasn't coming to her as quickly as some of our pst mates...and I was right there with her-except for the Italian part!  After the first couple weeks in Varshets our language class split (it just kind of happened) into 2 groups, the persons who were picking up the language fairly quickly and could speak well, and Naomi, Marisa, and myself who were coming along at a slower pace.   Naomi and I decided one day to practice what we had learned in class, how to order a meal.  We went to this little kafe; we were so nervous!  When the menus came we saw that there were pictures as well as the B description of the dishes and we were very happy.  We ordered (by pointing to the pictures and using very minimal B) and our meals came.  After a few seconds we both looked at each other and said "I don't think this is what I wanted."  THen one of our sitemates came in with the better B and ordered a beer and started chatting with the waitress and Naomi and I just looked at each other and sighed.  When we became volunteers and left for our individaul sites on the 23rd of July 2010, I cried as I watched their train leave.  It felt like one chapter of my life was ending; I guess it was.  The 6 of us literally did just about everything together for those 11 weeks and were so ready to NOT see each other everyday!  I'm of course speaking for myself but I think that was the general consensus of the rest as well.  So to all the volunteers leaving today or tomorrow I want to thank you for serving with me.  I of course knew some better than others; with a group of 87 it's hard to know everyone well.  Our group had a lot of volunteers from California.  Service to others, as well as learning from others, is important.  Thank you for beiing willing, and having the courage, to see outside of yourselves and comit to anothr country for almost 2 1/2 years!  Have safe travels and всичко хубаво!  (God) bless you!  Love and hugs from me!

I need a car???

I will leave B, with my mother in tow, July 29th.  Because of this and the fact that this has been my home for 2+ years I'm sure I will be experiencing many emotions and will be missing quie a bit of B when I get back to the states.  One of the things I will really miss when I return to the states is the fact that I can't walk everywhere.  I realize this seems trivial and it is in relation to the other things I will miss, but it's very true!  I can walk from one end of town to the other in probably about 20 minutes and everything I need (the basic necessities) is in there somewhere.  Where I live in the states I can walk to the nearest 7-11 but it would take me much longer than 20 minutes and is a lot more expensive than a regular store for food; Kroger for instance.  And if I want to go into a bigger town or city I jump on a bus or call Tzetzo the taxi driver.  Of course he comes from the next town over because we don't have one but that's ok.  Yes it's true that I have to coordinate with the bus schedule when I want to ride but I don't mind that either; I have gotten to know the bus drivers (like I said, I stand out from the "normal" B. person) and chat with them.  Every morning, or at least the mornings I go in to school, I walk to the English school and home when I leave for the day.  If I need to see Nargis about something, I walk to her house.  When I'm getting low on food in the house I walk to the magazine (store); and now all I have to do is walk outside my building and there is one right there, at the bottom of my building!  Of course I try to shop at all the closer food magazines.  And walking is exercise!  I don't speed walk or anything but it is a way to exercise that I don't get when I drive.  I'm not sure what to think when I get behind the wheel for the first time after 27 months of no driving.  I would like to say it'll come back to me but, since this is the first time I've gone 27 months without driving besides when I first learned how, I don't have anything with which to compare.  Along with not being able to walk everywhere, I will miss seeing non-motorized vehicles on the road; donkey/horse carts.  Tomorrow is the special English test for the 8th graders at special English schools; not exactly sure about other special schools.  I wish them luck!  Love and hugs from me!

recap

Sorry you all but this has to be a quick one!  First let me thank you for the birthday wishes! I spent the evening with a young lady from the English school and her family.  The next day, Saturday, I left here on a 7:30 im the morning microbus (the driver remembered my name from more than 1 year ago and I hadn't seen him until this past Saturday morning) that couldn't fit everyone.  The driver had to shuttle back and forth to a bigger bus to finally accomodate everyone.  Another "only in Bulgaria" comment.  You do realize that when I say that I don't mean anything negative towards B!  There have been several of those "only in B' comments come out of my mouth since I've been here.  I can't really explain what I mean when I say that; the closest would be to say things are seen and handled differently here than in the States.  So after that I got on a train that would take me to see my good friend Jez, leave her place for my medical and other appointments in Sofia, and head back to her place after the appointments, only to jump on another train the next morning to head home (B home).  I'm realizing that all the preparations I have done to end service up until now seem small.  Lots to do in terms of physical preparations.  Then there's the July 4th celebration we're supposed to be having in 2 weeks that needs to be planned.  Love and hugs from me!

Not quite a diva

What a difference 2 years makes!  I remember when I first got here I didn't know up from down...or горе от долу (yes I'm showing off a little)!  Gradually I became a member of this community and started teaching 2, this year 3, times a week in the Kindergarten.  I always started with a new class with introductions, of course, knowing full well there was no way I was going to remember all those names.  Back in the states I knew every child's name at my old place of employment; names like Nicholas or Lauren or Hailey or James I can remember.  HOWEVER, names like Sergin and Mart and Berfin and Emer I'm not so good with in the memory department.  They are beautiful names and I hate messing them up, forgetting, or worst or all, misspronouncing them but my mind isn't wired for B names; when I only saw them once a week it was harder to remember.  No matter how many times I repeated my name, their teachers repeated my name, or their parents repeated my name, my name sometimes was (still is- I just heard it yesterday:)) "Angleiski" which means "English."  Regardless of that fact (and I so don't mind; I consider it like a pet name.  Who else really could they be talking about?) my name is  known by many a youngster here.  I'll never forget one of the first times, if not the first, I heard my name being called by a child as I was walking past the Kindergarten.  Little Tolga was being picked up by his father (who I see all the time; he collects the water bill money and hooked up my washing machine) and Tolga just happened to see me walking by and screamed "LISA!  I looked all around and then finally saw him running towards me at full speed.  I had no time to think about the cuteness of this, I had to prepare my arms (and self) to be jumped into by a 6 year old running at full speed!  I turned towards him, put down my bag, and braced myself for impact; feet firmly planted on the ground.  I WAS READY!!  To let everyone in (or at least those who don't know me very well) on a fact about me: I LOVE HUGS, especially from children! So here I am ready to have Tolga jump into my arms...and he stopped about 3 feet in front of me and all I thought to do was go up to him and rub him on the top of his head.   Why did I tell you this??  You know how everyone talks about "15 seconds of fame"?  I've had 2 years of fame.  Peace Corps staff told us that one of the things we will have to get used to  when we leave here is not being a rock star.  This is not meant to boast or say volunteers are more important than just people, because we're not.  What this means is that around towns and small villages and cities, probably less in big cities, we're known;  I'M known; like I said before-I kinda stick out.  Because of that I hear my name a lot walking down the street or wherever, kida saying hi.  THIS I will miss when I leave here!  I will not be blogging next Tuesday; I have a medical appointment in Sofia.  Nothing important, just PC making sure I'm healthy enought to leave the country.  That and some other "closing service" stuff.  I'll be back next Thursday.  I want to thank you all for the birthday wishes, cards, poems, and little hershey's.  Nothing spectacular this year; one tattoo's enough.  Love and hugs from me!

what I will miss.

So I was thinking last night about how today was blog day and I was trying to think about what to write.  I think I decided something as the 10:00 evening  call to prayer sounded; I'm done with the new and different things that I've written about before.  I'm leaving the country I have called home for the past 27 (25 as of now) months in July; now's about thoughts and feelings; saying goodbye stuff.  There are so many reasons why I love this country and the same number and more things (and people)  I will miss about this country when I leave.  Last night reminded me of one; granted it's not a deep and sappy thing but something I will have to remind myself over and over won't happen, at least around where I live in Indianapolis, when I return to the States.  The Call to Prayer.   I live in a Muslim community; the Jimea is on the corner (that seems funny to say.)  Five times a day I hear it.  It took ome getting used to when I first got here in July 2010, but now I don't think twice about "what is that" or "man that's loud!"  It's a fact I have come to live with and have visited several times.  I have experienced the reading of The Koran and seen "na mass" (the ritual of the praying) being observed and even was given some prayer beads.  I will never forget the first, I think it was the first, time I went.  Nargis was with me, I use her for her Turkish-just kidding, and I noticed Samet, the Imam, leaning very, very close to The Koran while reading.  I said something to N about this and asked about glasses and his sight.  There are many things she has said that I won't forget but this struck me and made me think "Lisa, DUH!  What were you thinking?"  She looked at me and without even stopping to think said "he doesn't need to see; God/Allah (and the words) is in here" and she tapped her heart.  You know when you say something and someone answers you and you want to come back but are left with no words, you are speechless?  It was one of those times.  Anyway, along with the call to prayer I also get the "dog call to prayer."  All the dogs start howling and singing along with the announcement of na mass.  It's kinda funny!  That is something too I have just learned to deal with and accept as part of life here.  When I leave it will take some time getting used to the fact that that won't happen (again, in my part of the States).  Today is another warm one; yesterday I even felt some humidity!  It gets hot here but usually the humidity isn't bad so the heat is bearable (for me).  Today is my step-fathers birthday and I wish him a very happy birthday!!  He and my mom are traveling out West now in their conversion van and I think they are in Nevada today.  Wherever you are have a very good birthday and very safe travels!!  Love you!  Love and hugs from me!

feelings (wo,wo,wo feelings)

I don't really have anything that I can think of new and exciting to write about so I'll answer the question I have been getting in lots of letters from you all.  Quite often  I am asked about leaving here; how I feel and what I am going to do afterwards (more how I'm feeling than what I'm going to do).  Yes my leaving is going to be bittersweet.  I miss seeing my family and friends in the states...IN PERSON.  There are several new family members I have yet to meet; the first being born only a couple months after I arrived in B.  Included in there is my nephew  who turned 1 this past January.  Yes I do miss my family and can't wait to see my mom when she arrives in Bucharest so we can travel together!  BUT, that is my American family; I have a family, 2 actualy, here now too.  Whenever I travel my neighbors ask about me and want me to let them know where I will be and when I will be back.  There are ladies here, and men but mostly ladies, who tell me if someone they see me with isn't the best person for me to hang around.  People honk and wave at me walking down the street.  People give me food and help me imeasurably.  I have been given a home, 2 actually-well 3 counting pst, and am loved here, and I love people here as well.  All this is what families do!  People ask when I'm going to come back and my answer always is "I want to but next time I have to have enough money."  But the truth is I may never see some of my family here again and, I have to be honest I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about that fact.  I'm soooo incredibly glad my mom will be here with my when I actually leave for (I'm really hoping isn't) the last time; I don't know that I could do it by myself!  And it's not just me.  These thoughts have been echoed by many volunteers getting ready to leave what has been our home for 27 months, and longer for some volunteers!  This has been my (our) life (lives) for 27 months and that's not going to change when I (we) return to the States or wherever the next destination will be.  So whereas I'm so looking forward to seeing my family and friends in the States, leaving here won't be easy!  Today is overcast and the temperature is just about right, not too cold and not too hot.  I came very close to adopting a small dog last night but then I came to and realized that "I can't have a dog!  I'm leaving in a few months!"  She wandered into our section of the town and (I'm going to think this way because it makes me feel better) wouldn't have gotten back to her part of town by herself, so I helped her.  There was a moment there though where me keeping her seemed like the best option!  But all is well and she's back where she belongs!  Love and hugs from here!

right and wrong

I'm not sure if this has anything to do with anything but I've noticed something here that I don't think would not happen in the States.  Now let me qualify that and say I live in a town here with around 4200 people, much smaller than Indianapolis my hometown in the States.  So I'm generalizing here and comparing my experiences in Indianapolis to this small town (and yes, we ARE a town).  I've said before how during the winter the heat source is a wood stove, so it goes without saying that when the weather gets nice, it's time for more wood to restock the supply.  Since I don't use wood for heat I'm not really sure about the process of getting wood but I have seen it delivered to my neighbors in the form of long tree trunks; my heart kinda of skips a  beat when I see all those trees that have been cut but hey, you gotta stay warm somehow right?  Of course the big trunks have to be chopped into smaller trunks, usually there is a chainsaw or other electrical instrument used for this part, and then the smaller trunks have to be chopped into usable sized pieces of wood for the stove.  This is where the ax comes in and I must say, that's some HARD work!  I've never done it but watched from afar several times and it's a chore!  I would chop wood if needed but to tell the truth not too sure I want to try...given I'd have to use an ax and all and one of my fellow volunteers had an unfortunate accident during pst and I don't know that his big toe will ever be the same!  Anyway all this to say that sometimes this wood, cut or uncut, sits out front of the house for days waiting to be cut or waiting to be moved to a "wood for winter" storage shed. It goes untouched by others.  I left my gas can out front, actually no-it was in my garage but the door was open, of my house in Indianapolis once and in the span of a couple hours it was gone.  Someone stole it.  My point is I think there is more of a sense of right and wrong here.  Now of course this isn't always true, homework from some of the students comes to mind or should I say the lack thereof, but I think on a whole what is right and what is wrong is more prevalent here.  Again let me say my experience is a small town; this may be different in Sofia for example.  Now granted it might be kinda hard to steal 1/2 a tree but I'm sure it can be done.  I've been getting birthday cards/wishes for about the past 2-3 weeks and my birthday isn't until next month!  Thanks you guys!  It's been raining quite a bit here but so far for today, no rain!  I'm keeping my fingers crossed; we don't need anymore right now.  Things here are starting to wind down, with me as well.  I struggle between trying to get as much ready for when I leave now and keeping my mind and focus on here and my job.  Right now I have to say I'm not doing a very good job of "staying here" with my focus.  I can't believe I only have 2 more months.  The middle of June I go to Sofia for my first medical appointments and exit interview with the Country Director.  After that I can imagine everything will be a whirlwind and it will seem like no time has passed until I'm back in Sofia for my final medical clearance and wrap-up a short time before I'm scheduled to be done.   That's enough for today as it's getting time for me to go have lunch and see Nargis who just arrived from Albena, the graduation trip.  Love and hugs from me and thanks again so much for the birthday wishes and cards!  Not quite sure how I'll celebrate this one but I'll come up with something!  I'm open to ideas!

"sama li ci?" (are you alone?)

I was going to look to see if I wrote a blog about alphabet day or not but forgot and am a little into what I decided to blog about today so will go ahead with that.  You all are aware of the "expectation" of marriage.  When in your 20s, definitely 30s and 40s, there's just kind of this assumption that a person is either attached to a significant other or married.  Now I have to say that my family is very good about this; they all want me to be happy but pretty much leave me alone about the whole dating/marriage thing.  That however doesn't mean they haven't tried and dropped little hints to get me involved with someone.  But I do appreciate the lack of pressure put on me by my family in this area of my life.  HOWEVER...I'm "not in Kansas anymore."  The question I get BY FAR the most here is if I have a boyfriend; actually first people ask if I'm married and then move on to the other question.  When I say "no" they reply "why not?"  When I say that I have other work to do and haven't found the right man, their reply is something along the lines of "no seriously, why not?  You HAVE to get married!"  When I say "have to" I mean it; it's almost like it's not a question of "if" it's a question of "when."  To illustrate my point a few months ago I was in Sofia for an appointment.  The PC staff was unable to go with me so they called me a taxi and I went by myself which at this point didn't bother me since I've done Sofia by myself; I've conquered that Goliath.  When I was done and ready to head back to the office I again got in a taxi and struck up a conversation with the driver.  He asked about why I was here and all that and I asked him if he lived in Sofia and about his family and all the rest of the small talk I feel comfortable speaking in B.  He then asked me if I was married and my answer this time as well as all the other times is "no."  He replied "how can you not be?  You have to!"  I told him about my work and stuff like that (the actual reason) and again he said "you have to!  It's too hard without a husband!"  If I remember right this time I said "well, I'm alive!"  This conversation has happened MANY, MANY times over the last 2 years and this conversation in the taxi is one of many!  The baba I met on the train after Easter coming back here asked the same thing and when I told her she asked me why and said I had to be married.  One time about 1 year ago I was walking to my apartment with Nargis and we met one of my babas.  Since they both know Turkish I was left out of most of the conversation and just knew they were talking about me but hadn't a clue what they were saying.  Nargis told me later that she told my baba that I had a boyfriend in the military who couldnt come see me because of his job; Nargis said she was tired of people asking such personal questions of me and "she'll forget in a few days."   Well, she hasn't forotten.  I figured I'd go along with it for a bit and then tell her we broke up; I don't like lieing, even about something this trivial.  I told her we broke up and she asked me why and I said that I didn't love him.  Again...she asked me why.  I tried to tell the truth and she wasn't buying it so I had no choice but to play along.  My "boyfriend" has cheated on me and doesn't love me, yet stil, everytime I see my baba she asks me about him and tells me I "need to go there!"  At one of our conferences when all the YD volunteers were together, our program staff asked if any of us had done anything with gender empowerment/equality with young ladies.  Nobody said anything in terms of a project or work they had started on this topic, but something one of my non- 20something volunteer friends said stuck with me.  She said that although nobody had "officially" done anything on this topic, unofficially the older female volunteers serve as examples to girls/women, we are a kind of walking billboard for women empowerment so to speak.  Whereas the majority of the volunteers are in their 20s, we also have a couple women in their 30s and a couple in their 40s, my sitemate in Varshets who is 69, and a few married women whe are serving with their husbands who have more life experience than I do (I'm assuming).  She is right!  I know when I was young I always looked at my older neighbors who didn't have boyfriends.  I saw how their life didn't change because they didn't have boyfriends, how they just went on with their lives like "so what?"  I guess now I am that model for other young ladies.  I don't mind that people ask and I will answer with honesty and I kinda think it's funny now how not being married just isn't an option here.  I've joked about it with my female volunteer friends.    HAPPY BIRTHDAY C!  You have been wished life and good health...and one lady wished you to "listen."  I said I thought you did a pretty good job of that!  Love and hugs from me!  And no I can't say he died; that would open up a WHOLE OTHER can of worms; just ask my mom what they do here when someone dies.
BRING THIS ONE HOME FOR ME PACERS!!  LET'S TURN UP THE TEMPERATURE A
NOTCH ON THE HEAT, SHALL WE?

4aeg ima ball!

Tulay!

Tulay and I.  See!  I told you!

Tulay and her form teacher, Nargis.

Tulay and the Bulgarian teacher,
and my tutor, Tadsjenur.

Selime and I.

the proud graduates!

Last Friday our 2 senior young ladies graduated.  We had a ceremony at the school and they came DRESSED TO THE NINES!!  I told my niece (this one's for you M) that I would post the pictures.  Now as a lady who very rarely wears dresses, skirts for that matter too, TO CHURCH I stood in awe!   Not really in awe but...you'll see!  On Thursday they are heading on a graduation trip that is taken every year for the seniors and their "form" teacher, a little like a homeroom teacher.  Now me being the age I am (40 for those who don't know) and them being the ages they are (18 and beautiful young women to boot) I gave them my "stay with Nargis (form teacher)"  and "don't go anywhere with anyone you don't know" and, seperately to both of them, “watch out for (the other girl)!”  Funny how those things “just kinda happen” with age.  I also told them that I knew they didn’t want to hear what I had to say.  Tomorrow they take their English (one of the options for the 2nd part of the graduation test) exam and are nervous; Monday was Bulgarian.  Love and hugs from here and ENJOY!  Sorry you all have to strain your necks to view the pictures!

lesson learned/thoughts

Ok I have no real good excuse so I won't even try.  You know, I've learned several things since joining the PC.  One of them is, yes of course, that I can live in a foreign country for 27 months and not only survive but gain a couple pounds and become Intermediate High in that language (that would be higher but I've not been holding up my end of the bargain).  We volunteers all came here with our own agendas but the idea was to help in any way we could.  The Corps encouraged us to think about big projects-would they be right for our communities?  Sometimes that answer is an emphatic "yes" and sometimes it's a "no."  For example, will it (say a weight room-not meaning to pick on weight rooms I just couldn't think of anything else this second) still be taken care of years down the road or even after the volunteer leaves?  Again sometimes the answer is yes.  Varshets has a weight room developed by a volunteer (before our group); used regularly, even by our group when we were there, and is in good shape.  But the corps also stressed the importance of focusing on what the community needs/wants and "it's not about us!"  Sometimes those 2 ideas overlap; I know several volunteers who have done awesome things for their communities in terms of "big", funded  projects and again I say that's great.  But sometimes it's not about that or the capacity for sustaining something after the volunteer leaves isn't possible.  (In both of these senerios) The focus on THE PROCESS in which something is done, going through the "action plan" with others in the community, becomes the main focus.  I'm saying this wrong; sustainability is always in the forefront, just sometimes the process becomes more important than the end result.  That's something that I've learned to be more conscious of: do I want this because I want it OR do I want it because it is what my community wants?  Believe me sometimes things can spiral and ideas can get out of control so fast and things "just happen" it's hard to slow down and analyze the "why's."  I think this is important in all aspects of life, not just for Peace Corps volunteers.  It's important to know WHY we are doing something instead of just doing it.  Thinking of my family as many of them are up in Northern IN today, a kind off send off for my cousin who is leaving for Argentina next month for 10 months to do dental-service work.  Grandma and Grandpa would be proud S (of course so am I but it's the grandparents I'm focusing on here)!  Love and hugs from me!

spelling bee/May 1 pics

Nebahat, her teacher, and Abi at
the spelling bee in Razgrad.

all the students who made it to
the regional bee in Razgrad.

the judges, Brittany and Drew.

Diana from Vetovo, one of the
students I "helped." (not really)

Abi from Sevar, another student
I "helped." (not really)

Britt and Drew in action!

Diana and her teacher Ivelina
with her certificate of participation!

May 1 in the park.  Look at our
spread!

Aysun, an 8th grader, on the homemade
swing.

Guhai and Alea tending to
the fire.  Nice job guys!!

Levie, our Geography teacher. 

I think somehow my camera missed
Elis, our Math teacher, somehow...
UNTIL NOW!!


Love and hugs from me!

May 1, 2012

I just found a comment I didn't know I had for someone I don't know.  It was about my blog about traveling and navigating Sofia by myself.  I was searching for a blog about May 1 and found that comment; almost a year later!  If whoever wrote that comment is still reading my blogs-I'm glad I could help and I hope everything worked out for you!  Well I guess I did write a blog about May 1, but will do another one.  May 1 is the B Labor Day and most things are closed.   Several of the teachers from the English school, some students, and I went to the park and had a picnic and relaxed.   We had salad, potato salad, bread, kebabche's (like beef hotdogs), fish, bread, coffee and soft drinks, and lots of sweets!  Some of the students went on a walk and I went along with them.  Since I didn't know I'd be walking around much I wore flip-flops and no socks (but walking with the girls was more important than me not having socks (i.e. getting a tick)!  Well one of the girls was so concerned I was without socks (I told her I didn't care but that didn't matter) that she gave me hers!  I said "I'm not going to take your socks from you, you need them!"   She leaned up against a tree and pulled off a pair of hers; she was wearing two because she didn't want ticks!  For those of you who have foot issues or sharing more personal things issues you may not share my thoughts but I thought that was very sweet!  I had fun but again left early (we set out at 10 am.and I left at 5); even though it was a non-work day I still had work to get done, more specifically my B homework!  As I was walking home I HEARD SOMEONE scream my name (sorry for the caps, the computer decided this for me!) from a campsite and so went over and talked to them for awhile.  They were some of the students from Hristo Botev school here and i go to their classes most fridays.  that was fun; i always enjoy meeting new people!  IT'S kinda funny how that compares to my life in the states.  not that i don't enjoy meeting new people but i am more quiet and reserved in the states when it comes to meeting different people.  that's different here.  maybe it's because here i feel like i have nothing to prove and people are impressed that i speak B.  maybe it's because i have just realized i'm not good at small talk here so i don't even try and just let them ask the questions.  who knows??!!  well the pacers wrapped up the first round and now are on to miami!!  by my next blog we'll all know how the first game turned out!!  go pacers, have a very happy birthday ronni (it was exactly 2 years ago I left on her birthday), and love and hugs from here!

Easter#2

At midnight on Saturday the 14th of April my family (still in Varshets) and I went to church.  We didn't actually attend the service (it was pretty crowded) but stood out front and listened to The Father.  When we  first arrived we were each given a candle.  Then many in attendance made a procession around the church 3 times.  I'm not sure why 3 times (and neither was Dani) but she did tell me that it was outlawed during Communism, which makes sense, but now my guess would be for 1) The Father, 2) The Son, and 3) The Holy Ghost/Spirit.  However I'm not sure about that.  It was really pretty to see all the candles being walked around the church!  Then after the Father spoke in front of the church (the answer is no, I did not understand what He was saying even though I am Intermediate High in B.) for a little and everyone else went inside for the message we headed home (it would be a very early morning for me since my bus was at 7:30 and Dani and Alexi too since they were seeing me off). Then we each chose an egg, 5 of us, and took turns knocking our neighbor's egg on top and bottom to see if it would crack.  The person with the least cracks, our of 2, would be the strongest during the coming year; my host sister Vesi.  Usually everyone eats their egg and some special sweet bread eaten only on Easter called "kozoonak" then but we were all full from dinner so went straight to bed.  Dani cut me some and wrapped it up for my trip back home.  It was good and gone by Monday afternoon!  Not much new is going on here besides me preparing to end my service.  Thoughts and prayers are with a friend of my sister's family as well as a very good friend of mine over here!  Love and hugs from here!  I can't believe I forgot this!  GO PACERS!!  LET'S TAKE THE MAGIC OUT OF THE MAGIC!!  I know that was corny, but it works!!!

Easter#1

Once again I'm sorry about Tuesday.  Tuesday was the B Labor Day, which I'll blog about later, and I didn't get home from the park until later in the afternoon.  Then had to finish up my B  homework or Tadsjinyr, my tutor, would get mad at me.  She probably wouldn't get mad but, believe it or not, this is homework I actually WANT to do.  So... today's blog will be about the Easter festivities while in Varshets.  Easter time for  Christians here was on the 15th of April.  The Thursday before is "Great Thursday", the Friday before is "Good Friday" (it just so happened to be Friday the 13th too!), and Easter is then Sunday the 15th.  I got this out of a traditions book the Corps gave volunteers; the calander at my school says nothing about Thursday and the Saturday before is "Great Saturday."  Thursday I dyed eggs with my host "mom", Dani, and sisers.  This part isn't that different from when I was younger and dyed eggs.  The first egg dyed is red (the English school students told me later red is for Christ's blood, which of course makes perfect sense).  This first egg is special and saved all year.  So special in fact that I went to move it once and Dani startled and told me to "be very careful with this one!"  After it was dyed Dani took it and "crossed" everyone's foreheads (a little like annointing with oil) "for health."  When we were all done we threw out the dye except for one of the red dyes; I wasn't really sure why but went with it.  I found our soon when Dani told her mother-in-law to "wait a little!  Lisa, come here."  Sorry, at this point we were dying eggs at my baba's house on their farm.  My baba took the dye outside, disappeard for a few seconds, then came back with a lamb.  She dipped her fingers in the red dye and wiped them on the lamb's head (I'm assuming also for health).  After all the eggs were dyed they were wiped with oil to help the colors shine.  I found this really did make the colors stand out more but made the eggs harder to peel when it came time to eat them.  Keep posted for more on Easter!  B has skipped Spring and went directly to Summer (or so it seems) and very warm temperatures!  I'm sitting at my desk with my window open to get a draft through my house; (I like a cross draft usually) it was a little cooler this morning but warms up very fast!  I have gone from opening my blinds and terrace door for warmth and sunshine to keeping them closed to keep the warmth out!  If only I could have had this problem this passed winter!   The Pacers are looking better and hopefully can wrap this series up soon!   Love and hugs from me!!

A different kind of "first"

My family in the states is awesome!  Not only do they support me being here 100% and send me letters of encouragement, they keep me supplied with my favorite things from the states and other goodies as well.  One of the biggest reasons I'm here is to share "my" America (as well as try to end the "Marilyn Manroe" stereotype of American women).  One of the first things I do when I get a package from the States (after tearing it open and being so amazed at the generosity of my family) is share things from my Am family with my B family.  One time after a package I gave a granola bar, I think, to my neighbor Ivan (pretty sure he's in his 50s,- now that I'm 40 I have a much harder time with ages!) and he said "this is the first Am thing I've had."  I have to say that made me feel proud, both to be able to do that for him and that it was me who did it.  Along these same lines not long after I got to this town 2 years ago I was told I was the first Am ever in my town.  WOW!  That is HUGE and again makes me proud!  I consider it an honor and a privilege.   Put yourself in my shoes; what a sense of pride and tremendous responsibility that is!!  One of the teachers of the village that I helped with their Bulgarian National English Spelling bee (regionals are this weekend!  Good luch Diana and Abi!) told me that her students were excited to "see an American."  At first I was a little put off (I've gone through 2 years of sometimes thinking I get special treatment because of my nationality) and said "I'm just a person."  Then I reminded myself I was going to a small village and, most importantly, these were kids and I have a soft spot for kids.  Now I can't compare this to Neil Armstrong and the first man on the moon or Christopher Columbus when he discovered Am, but I have to think they had a little swell of pride [or as the narrator in How the Grinch... put it "his heart grew 10 (or however many) sizes that day"] knowing that they were "the first"!  I'm not the most patriotic person but I take representing my country VERY seriously!  To be able  to give a little bit of Am to people over here makes me feel good!  I should also add that it's one of those "Dear God, please don't let me trip" feelings!  Today is overcast but warm.  As is usual for April until (for special language, math, or science (I think) schools) the end of June when the 8th-11th graders finish school it is a bit crazy and the students have "senioritis"...ALL OF THEM.  But I really can't blame them...BUT!  SO IF YOU'RE A STUDENT (AT 4AEG) READING THIS, JUST BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN QUIT SCHOOL AND NOT DO HOMEWORK FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF JUNE!!  Love and hugs from me!! GOOD LUCK WITH ORLANDO MY PACERS!!

Well, would you look at that!

The same day I wrote about in my last blog we also went to a 3D movie in E.  I think it is interesting that I've been to 3 movies in B and only 1 of them has been in B'ian.  Anyway I noticed something a little funny and not expected as the movie started and the B subtitles rolled across the bottom of the screen.  I automatically was drawn to the B subtitles even thought I could understand what was being said better anyone in the group!  I have no idea why and I've noticed I do the same thing sometimes watching tv when there are B subtitles.  You know how when you know a language that someone else doesn't you can swich to that language to communicate and intentially leave someone out of the conversation?  My sister does it all the time with French (I don't think a thing about it! In fact, I'd do the same thing if I were in your shoes!)  Of course this only works if the other person knows the same language!  My volunteer friends and I have made jokes about how now we can do that with B when in the states; the only problem is finding people that I know who speak B!  I'm not proud of it but Nargis and I have actually done that with E once.  One of my babas was asking questions about me in Turkish and if I had a boyfriend (the answer is "no, don't want one now" but that is another blog coming up).  Nargis was telling me what she told my baba [who to this day won't believe I don't have a boyfriend even though (after awhile I had to play along; she wasn't taking "no" for an answer!) I broke up with him because I didn't love him and he cheated on me] and we were having our own little conversation in E while their conversation in B/Turkish was going on!  I think after going awhile of not hearing E spoken like I speak it (at the same pace) or even seeing it written, when I hear (or see) it it's like B was to my ears when I first started learning it; strange, a "foreign" language in more ways than one!  I've even noticed that sometimes it takes me awhile to think of an E word.  This comes to the delight of my B tutor who I love dearly!!  Anyway, I thought that was interesting and very unexpected!  Love and hugs from here!

are we there yet??

Around the end of March some students and teachers from the English school and I went into a city closeby to visit a display about the 3rd of March, Bulgaria's Liberation Day.  Since there were about 30 of us we took a bus and during the trip I heard something interesting.  I'm not quite sure why it was interesting; I had just never thought of it before.  You know how on long trips stuck in the car sometimes people sing to pass the time?  All of a sudden from my seat towards the front of the bus I heard singing coming from the back of the bus.  It brought a little smile to my face [even though I didn't know what in the heck they were singing.  I thought about starting the ever popular around this time "chaeg ima ball" (this is the graduation chant which means "chaeg", my school, "ima ball", will have a graduation,) but was too late] as I remembered all the times as a little kid stuck in a long car ride my family and I would sing to make the trip go faster.  Listening that day I found it a little refreshing.  There are diffeences in the B and American cultures but there are similarities as well; children and adults singing to pass the time in the car (or bus) is one similarity that is cross-cultural!  My English class for adults here has started up again on Thursday nights at the school.  The weather has been nice and Spring like, almost summer sometimes, and then yesterday and today, so far, a cold wind along with chilly temperatures arrived. OH YEAH!  I saw a stork!  I have to admit what I THOUGHT was a stork, and I blogged about how"the stork looks nothing like the stork that brings the babies", wasn't a stork so I'm sorry for that.  It looks exactly like the stork that brings the babies.  I guess after the 23rd of March, or 22nd, people take their martinitzas off anyway AND they can either be put on a fruit-bearing tree OR under a rock.  Under the rock is new to me and I didn't so much see the stork myself as Dani, my host "mom", pointed it out to me.  On the bus to go see Jez (before Varshets) I met some people who wanted to practice English.  They noticed I still was wearing my martinitzas and tried to point storks out to me, I just never saw them!  That's about it from a chilly and windy here!!  Love and hugs from me!!

and it start, the "final's"

The process of saying goodbye started the week of the close/continuation of service conference the end of March.  A couple days after I got home to my site I left for a final visit with my host family.  2 of my pst site-mates happened to be there as well.  I spent as much time as I could with them as it would most likely be the last time we see each other before the 3 of us leave B;   they live down in Southern B and I'm up North.  Like the other 2 times I visited my pst home there were plenty of memories.  For instance, I mentioned this trip how I needed to go and get my hair cut while there.  Marisa, a sitemate, told me how she remembered how scared  I was the 1st time I got my hair cut during pst and how I called her afterwards so I could show her my haircut.  How the kafe that we always went to doesn't look the same without their trademark green "Zagorka" umbrallas outside (zagorka is a kind of beer).  Or how we ran into someone from all 6 of our host families and enjoyed hearing about the changes in their lives.  How we just happened to run into Hristo the taxi driver who took all 7 of us (including Ms. Toni our teacher) from Varshets to Vratsa every week during pst (he had help since his taxi couldn't fit all 7 of us).  I remembered how Sean, another site-mate, always made the appointment for taxis the day before (like any good teacher Ms. Toni made US do it) because his B was the best and he always volunteered.  I remember telling myself I had to do it once and was SO NERVOUS when I volunteered!!!!  I must've gone over what to say a dozen times and called when Sean was with me...just in case!  So when (2) Sunday mornings (ago) came and they (S and M) left in a taxi I cried.  It's hard to say goodbye!  On Friday morning (push that to Sunday morning-I wrote this last Tuesday, just couldn't post) I will say another goodbye; this time to my host family.  My time in Varshets during Pre-Service Training was hard!!  11 weeks of intensive learning about B as well as my youth development work.  Everything from the language to how (for some people) a cross draft is bad to how to dance the Byala Rosa and many things in-between!  My host family (Dani, Alexi, Krisi, and Vesi) was with me for it all and I owe much to them!  OH THE HOMEWORK THEY HELPED ME WITH (that's TRUE dedication!  Every weeknight Dani and/or Krisi would come up to my room and ask if I needed any help...and of course I always did)!  I had only been in B  4 days when I was forced to trust total strangers with my well-being.  After 3 months however, I cried when leaving them; we had become family.  My 1st B family, complete with grandparents, sisters, an aunt, and an uncle.  [yes it's true that my host "parents" are my age but I'm playing along with the whole scenerio].  THEY set the tone for my next 2 years in B and set it awesomly!  So, от долу на моято сърце венаги добре дъшли в моята къща в сащ!  от мен и  моято семеиство в сащ-много ви благодаря за всичко!!  аз ви обичам!  Love and hugs from here...and yes that did take awhile as I'm not used to the B keyboard.

a quick trip!

My break is going to be a bit longer than I thought!  Things are fine; I ended up traveling to Sofia days before my vacation; so no blogs-sorry:(  Things are going well and the close/continuation  of service conference last week went well!  I will catch all of you after the 11th!  Happy Easter and/or enjoy your Easter vacation!  Love and hugs from me!

pochievka for me

I will be taking a break from my blog for the next week.  Be safe and talk to you in about a week!  Love and hugs from here!

moving forward "malko po malko"#3

Where did I leave off Tuesday.  The weather here is like it is in Indiana; you never know what you're going to get!  I swear one day last week it snowed a little and today it is bright and sunny and 54*F, and it's 10 in the morning.  If I remember right last year the same thing happened, it's like we moved right from winter to summer!  But I'll take it after the hard winter we had!  I paid my tok (electricity) this morning, 151.30 leva.  Both the lady at the post office, where you pay tok, and my Director said that's a lot and I guess it is but we had a hard winter!  I have yet to see a stork, the signal to take your martinitzas off and spring is here.  I may have seen one but I'm not quite sure; I'll wait until I'm with someone and THEY see a stork and say "oh look Lisa!  A stork!"  This week has been very nice and I only need my light jacket and sometimes in the afternoon don't even need that.  I have a plastic, solar powered "plant" that dances in the sun's rays and it has been dancing up a storm this week!!  Again, fine by me!  When I wrote the first "moving forward malko po malko" I had just gotten to my home for 2 years.  Things were cluttered in the apartment and my mind as well.  Now I'm preparing to end my service.  Granted I don't leave until the end of July but I'm going to my COS (close of service) conference in a few days and now is the time to start winding down.  As much as I really don't want to think about it it's the truth and these last couple of months will fly by whether I like it or not.  I'm going back to Vershets, my pst home, in April to see my family there for what may be the last time.  I hate to think that way, and neither I nor my family has said it out loud, but it's the truth and in both of our minds'.  When I was finished with pst and was getting ready to move to my new home I was at the train station preparing to leave my pst site-mates.  I was surprised when I started crying when their train left.  My host mother, who was with me at the time, put her arm around me to comfort me.  It had only been 3 months.  But the way I saw it my pst was 1 life and it was ending.  We (my pst mates and I) had spent so much time together; we laughed, cried, got mad, learned, and faced so many emotions together and it was ending and a new life was starting.  So just as I was preparing my mind and apartment in that first "malko po malko" to start a new life I'm doing the same now.  Only this time it's to leave.  I didn't plan that but that's a pretty good stopping point for this blog.  Have a good weekend!!  Love and hugs from here and thoughts are with my family in the states.

moving forward "malko po malko"#2

So aparently "moving forward 'malko po malko'" is my most popular blog.  I have tried to figure out why to write a #2 but haven't figured anything out.  But here goes...First off "malko po malko" means "little by little" and that's a very common expression for me.  There's also "stupka po stupka" which means "step by step.”  Both are uttered by me on a daily basis pretty much.  The language and my tutoring have suffered I’m afraid to say.  I still have tutoring 2 hours a week but went without all summer until this past January I think without a "formal" lesson.  Of course sitting with my neighbors at the end of the day during the summer and, well, just living here are tutoring themselves!  I have to say I’m not doing a good enough job at being proactive in speaking or getting out and practicing my B.  Of course I’m not a hermit all the time either but I did a much better job my first year.  But I have come to the conclusion, actually I came to this conclusion awhile ago, that I work in and English school, speak E with the students, work with E teachers, and the people I meet that know E want to practice, so the fact that I'm not going to be fluent in B is something I've learned to accept.  As long as my community sees me trying that's enough for me!  When I go other places and people compliment my B it does bring a smile to my face and make me feel good.  Another factor in this is my counterpart, Nargis, who wants to practice her E.  SInce we both want to practice each other's languages we have made a deal to go week by week, 1 week E and the next week B, although sometimes I slip up;  talk about our work is usually done in E.  When I mentioned the "pochievka" time in the middle of the day and said things shut down...they don't.  In the middle of the day, 12:30-4, is usually when people stop and take a break, but everything stays open here.  When I first got here I learned about this time and not to disturb anyone during this time, basically no one goes gosti.  THen I was invited  gosti during that time period and got confused.  So now I've learned it's pretty much an individual thing, some people sleep during this time and just relax and some people don't.  I don't and Nargis doesn't, she gets bored, but my neighbors do.  Sometimes I will hear one of my babas out working in the hallway of our building, go out to help her, and she will invite me for coffee at 2:30-3, right in the middle of "pochievka time."  Or one time (this isn't about the pochievka time but it's a cute story about a pochievka- literally pochievka means "rest") I was coming home from somewhere and noticed baba N. in the hallway tearing cardboard for her stove.  I think I blogged about this...oh well.  I asked her if she wanted help and she said I could help if I wanted.  I closed my door and went to help her and she told me to get some cardboard from inside her apartment.  Right when I went to ask her if I had the right cardboard she said "you've been working hard, let's take a break."  In all reality I had not been working hard but I went with it.  We preceeded to watch a Turkish program, of which I understood nothing but I heard baba N. laugh at parts so it must have been pretty funny, and have coffee.  When I went to leave after about an hour she said "but this next program is the best one!  You aren't going to watch it with me?"  Anyway, where else can you take a break from working hard without having worked hard?   I just decided I'm going to break this up into 2 blogs, so more of the same coming on Thursday.  Sandy, keep your chin up and R, glad things are going well!  Love and hugs from here!  I neverpictured Peyton anything but a Colt!!  I guess things change!!

BNES

This is the 2nd year for the Bulgarian National English Spelling Bee.  In it's first year, last year, the spelling bee was extremely successful and this year there are more schools than last year.  I have been a very lax volunteer and did not help out last year and, since it's for 4th-7th grades and the school I work primarily with is 8-12th grades, wasn't planning on doing much this year.  However, there is a school about 15-20 minutes away that is taking part and they are without a PC volunteer, so I was asked to lend my native tongue (and knowledge of spelling bees...the very little that I have) to their school.  Then last night I was asked by one of our students' friends to come to their village and help.  I am glad to help (makes me feel useful) BUT have to find a way to get there!  So I'm taking a round-about way to get there tomorrow, going to a place I've only been for 5 minutes (and then didn't get out of the car I was riding in), and meeting people I've never met before.  (That sounds a little familiar to me: I just reread that!)  Again, I'm not quite sure what to attribute this to (age? the fact that I'm in Bulgaria? not sure) but I'm not worried.  I even reassured MY MOM...that's a first I think!   She asked me if someone was going to meet me at the bus stop and I said "mom, there's one school I'm sure and if I don't see it when I get off the bus I can ask anyone and they will tell me."  Besides, in all honesty someone will probably meet me, (B is much better than the states in my opinion at meeting and sending guests) even if they have to have another teacher cover their class to do it; that's the B culture and very respectful.  So I'm not exactly sure what I'm in for tomorrow but I will find out!  The last 2 days here have been boardering on Spring-like...and then today got cold again.  One of the students said he was going to make a snowman; I think it did snow for about 5 minutes today.  That's about it for today.  Love and hugs from here!!  Enjoy the weekend!!  And Aunt Jan, you generally want to stay away from fire ants!  Hope you get better soon!!  UPDATE:  it is now Friday and I did not go to the other village.  We misunderstood each other; she was asking for another Friday and not today.  

"chestito!"

When I first got to B I learned the word "posdravlenea" was the word to say when you want to congratulate someone.  Since I've been in my town I think I've said that once; people here say "chestito/a" depending on who you are saying it to.  Litterally "chestit" means "happy" more than congratulations, but I have learned they are basically the same.  When I first got here it took me awhile to get used to all the different "chestito!"s that were directed towards me.  Now I find myself saying it quite a bit!  Of course you have your traditional "chestit rosjden den" or "happy birthday."  Then I got my hair cut and everyone told me "chestita."  That was a new one for me and took me awhile to warm to the idea of someone congratulating me on my haircut.  Now of course I do it.  When someone gets a good grade, passes their drivers test, gets pregnant, married, or anything happy and special happens, so do the "chestito"s!  Talking about words it's interesting to think about (and something I've noticed before) how certain words are used certain places and different words, that mean the same thing, are used in other places.  I go visit my friend who lives South of me about 4 hours and her town uses words I don't know, but the same word here in my town isn't known.   Both words means the same thing but different parts of B use different words.  I really wish I could think of an example right now but none are coming to me.  The snow is melting, finally!, and the birds are chirping! That is a good sign.  The high today is supposed to be about 4*C; dare I say warmup??!!!  Of couse I did wake yesterday morning to a dusting of snow.   Just like Indiana; the weather changes in a heartbeat!  Love and hugs!!

my grandma#2

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAY !!  Let all the women out there be celebrated!!  The idea for this blog, again-thanks mom, came from my mom.  Oh, before I start I have to thank and celebrate all the women in my life, past and present.  My mom who has been my supporter and advocate for 40+ years.  My sister who has developed over the years into more than a sister, my friend and confidant as well.  My step-mother who kept fighting against my sister and I, not outwardly of course, to be part of our family, even though we didn't make it easy at all.  “Dad, I’m not hungary for...” (whatever Ronni made for dinner that night which was I’m sure delicious)  “are you sure?  Just try a bite and then if you don’t like it you don’t have to finish but you have to eat something.”  “I don’t want to.”  “Fine, do you want me to make you a grilled cheese?”  “I guess...”  Or how about when your soon to be step-daughter “just happens (it had to be an accident, I don’t think I had the gaul to do this purposefully) to put several BAD AND VERY NOTICABLE runs in her pantyhose ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING!  I could go on and on with aunts, grandparents, teachers, and women friends who have made a difference in my life.  I also have to mention my best friend over here, Jezreel, who has helped me tremendously.  You have shown me a different side of friendship and I have much to learn!  Ok, today’s blog is about my maternal grandmother, Helen.  When my great-grandmother was pregnant with Helen she was in an accident and thrown from the buggy she was riding in.  Because of that my grandma never walked without a limp and was never able to bend the pointer finger of her left(?) hand.  But when you live on a farm, it doesn’t matter how fast you walk or how slow, how strong you are or how weak; the work has to get done!  Story time:  years after college I decided to go back to Goshen for the weekend for a visit.  I stayed with my grandparents and met up with some friends one night and we stayed out a little later than bedtime for my grandparents.  I called  and told them I would be late.  When I got in the main door to the house was locked (she must have locked it out of habit and forgot I needed to get in) so I curled up on an old sofa they had out in their entry room and tried to get some sleep.   The next morning I wake up to (somewhat) familiar sound.  There was my grandma walking on the treadmill!  I’m not sure if it was more for exercise or physical therapy.  I mentioned last year that my grandma did handpainted cards to help her finger agility.  Towards the end of her life, obviously as is the case in just about all deaths, there was a decline in some of her abilities; her abiliy to eat by herself, dress herself, and walk by herself.  BUT my grandma was still using a squishy ball to help with her finger agility/movement.  So when she passed away my mom was given her squishy balls and passed them on to my sister and I.  My sister took here into the delivery room with her when she gave birth to her kids.  I brought mine here to B with me.  It is a symbol of strength and that “never give up” attitude my family is famous for.  Just the other day I gave my ball away.  I gave it to a young person who is having a hard time here for many reasons.  I told this person to take care of it for me and think of my grandma whenever he/she looks at it.  Think about how she was struggling to eat, to walk, and had to depend on others to take her to the bathroom.  BUT YET she did her exercises, day after day, to keep her hand and finger strength up!  She didn’t give up, not even when it seemed like everything was against her.  Now I don’t know if this person understood the whole story or not; sometimes even when a person understands things in English the meaning isn’t quite the same.  Either way I feel good about giving it to another person and I know my grandma would too.  Now...the ONE THING I thought for certain would be the same (ok I hadn’t really thought about it but I think the fact that I didn’t think about it being any different means that I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be different) when I closed out my service here in B and returned to my life in the states was that PEYTON MANNING WOULD BE THE STARTING QUARTERBACK FOR THE INDIANAPOLIS COLTS!  Yesterday was truely a sad day for the Colts organization and myself.  I read a comment someone posted saying that “if you don’t cry at this press conference you have no soul” and said to myself “that’s silly!  it’s just a press conference with a bunch of reporters and cameras and stuff!”    Ok, who reading this blog actually thought I would NOT cry??  I think it’s safe to say that tissues were moistened; yes, I cried.  Love and hugs from me!