wedding

my first thought when i hear there's going to be a wedding isn't "oh how glorious!  2 people have decided to spend their lives together" as it should be.  instead my thoughts jump to "another night when i won't be able to sleep!"  that's the wrong attitude i know, and i've only been in G since July 24, but since i live right in the center of town and the "reception" takes place right across from my apt i've developed that attitude.  once again there was a wedding both days this past wknd.  so sun pm when Nargis asked me if i wanted to go and check out the weeding i had to stifle my american"it's late and i'm inside and i really don't want to go back out" attitude and figured maybe it's time i see for myself what all the fuss is all about!  the first thing that is really different is the fact that we could in fact go.  it was a muslim wedding and it really starts in the afternoon where there is a small signing the marriage certificate ceremony in the mayor's office.  then the music begins!  the family hires a band and that band plays in the afternoon for people to come and give their gifts to the couple in the center.  there is a small dinner break about 7:30-8 when everyone goes home to have dinner.   then things pick up again about 9:30 and kinda like our reception it's a party with dancing.  well i guess maybe not exactly like a reception b/c other things happen at our receptions.  there's only dancing here.  and anyone can go and watch, see what's happening!  so it's 9:30 and i figured even tho we're not a part of the wedding since it's a wedding i should look somewhat presentable so i took a quick shower before nargis came.  i asked nargis what she was wearing, i didn't ant to overdress and really had no idea, and she said she was in the same outfit as before.  that meant shorts and a nicer blouse!  you can believe i was a bit confused!  even more so when i told her i had no shorts dry, i had just done wash and my shorts that i would've worn were still drying on the line, except for the shorts i run in and my dressier shirts really don't look good with those.
she said i looked fine and that we weren't going to dance.  good thing too!  o here i am going to a wedding of people i don't know wearing old shorts and a cruddy tshirt!  but would you believe it i didn't look that out of place!  something else i noticed is the dress of the guys in the wedding party.  they looked more business casual to me then part of a wedding party!  right when we first got there the party was dancing, but there were only guys.  what fun is that??  for awhile this went on with only guys and i had not seen the bride or groom yet.  then after we had been there about 15 min's the bride and groom showed up.  but only the bride and no other women.  when i asked about this nargis said the women were at home taking care of the children.  again i ask you what fun is that?!  once the bride arrived i guess that gave everyone else termission to start dancing.  now it's not unusual for the b and g to talk to seperate people and not always be together during the reception but at least in the states they "touch base" with each other more often than not.  i didn't see the b and g together before we left except for the slow dance which i'll talk about later.  i questioned nargis about this and she said "oh, they'll find themselves this night believe me!" i just thought it was strange for them to not be toeether more.  i guess the muslim tradition is that the b and g go live with the groom's parents.  and again i have to say "who wouldn't just love to live with their mother-in-law??"  nargis also told me there is a tradition where you can "tuck" money in , hold on guys, a woman's bust line if you want to touch their breasts.  i guess nargis saw some guy do that and told me about it.  in addition to that you can tape money to someone's forehead if they are dancing really ell.  believe me i saw some guys who were trying to make a leva!  i was getting a little chilly and it was past 11 so we decided to go.  but before we left what did i see???  slow dancing!  i ddon't know what i expected, if i expected to not see that or b/c i've heard so much about the horo and qucheck slow dancing neven crossed my mind.  SURE ENOUGH!! they were slow dancing. i'm really not ssure why i was so surprised to see a kind of dancing i recognize, let's face it i let the guys lead, but THEY WERE SLOW DANCING!  i just happened to think just now of course all the music is instrumental and i'm sure they'd look at me like i was nuts if i requested "strokin" (that's a shout out to mu aunt).  and later when i was up in my apt getting ready for bed they were doing, i'm going to think comparable to "thanks for coming" and "welcome to the family" kinda speeches but i can't say for sure since it was in turkish!  this has been longer than i thought so the pictures i've taken will have to wait for tom if i remember.  1 more quick thing.  nargis told me if her bro-in-law gets married next yr i'll be a special guest at the wedding and then she said but sometimes the b is like julia roberts.  i asked her to clarify and it turns out reaking an engagement is pretty common here.  she said that was better than after marriage realizing it wouldn't work.  i told her i find that encouraging, maybe that''s the wrong word, to think that women (here?) are smart enough to not get married and face the stigma of having been engaged before.  i guess if you break an engagment you won't be able to find a hus in the same village but a woman can in a diff village.  kudos to the women who face that stigma rather than live an unhappy life!  that's it i promise!  love!